I'll Do It When... What's Keeping You From Your Dreams?

Most people I talk with are excited about pursuing their dreams. We can get into the juicy details of what they want their life to look like, what they want to be doing, what skills and talents they want to be using, what values they want to honor, who they want to be impacting, where they want to be living, etc. And then...

Then the bad economy slips into the conversation. Or their retirement. Or what their spouse or parents or kids or boss or friends or total strangers think they should do. Or why they can't change jobs. Or why they can't move. Or any other possible aspect of why they can't pursue their dreams right now.

The life they really want to be living...the one that taps into their greatest dreams, vision, passion, purpose, strengths, skills, and impact in the world...becomes that intangible, ever-elusive "thing" that is always just out of reach. It's always around the next bend or over the next hill. It's the future, not the now. It's something for tomorrow, and never for today.

Okay, I agree. The reasons for putting off the life you want to be living are usually quite sensible and realistic. Sometimes there really are limitations we can't fully change. Often we really do have responsibilities we can’t ignore. On a logical, head level, I can't argue with the choices made or actions taken.

Yet how sad!! I believe everyone should be living life to the fullest. Think of how much happiness we pass up by choosing to remain stuck in circumstances or the path someone else chose for us. Not to mention all the opportunities we miss for making a bigger impact or difference in the world around us.

I heard a great, sad story the other day. Great because it illustrates my point so clearly. Sad because this a real story about a real person. This guy worked in a job that really didn't fit him. He didn't enjoy it, and it wasn’t using his greatest talents or passion. He knew it, and his friends knew it. In spite of their wise counsel to get out, he refused to retire early because it meant he would miss out on $200 a month in extra pay. He gutted it out that additional four or five years so he could get the bonus retirement benefit. Was it worth it? Not even close! After too many painful years in a job he didn’t enjoy, he died a very short four months after retiring. Since when is happiness worth an extra $200?

The good news is pursuing our dreams doesn’t have to be black and white. It's a journey we take, not something that magically happens overnight. There are always options and different perspectives we can take to get us started down the right path. It begins with deciding we aren’t going to remain stuck any longer. Once we make that critical choice we can begin exploring the truly limitless possibilities for getting where we want to go.

So as you reflect on your dreams, let me ask you:

• What dreams are you putting off until that elusive "tomorrow"?
  
• What dollar figure or other measure of value are you attaching to your dreams (or your current life that isn’t following your dreams)?
  
• What are your personal "roadblocks" that are keeping you from that life you really want to be living?
  
• What would you like to do about those roadblocks and your dreams?

I've said it before, and I’ll say it again: There is no time like the present to take a stand for the bigger life you are meant for. Don't let an extra $200 keep you from it!

Validating Your Value

An amazing coaching client who is currently in the "daring to dream" process recently made a very insightful observation that she needs to learn to validate herself for the ways she is uniquely gifted. I couldn't agree more!

Most people will agree that genetically, just like snowflakes, no two people are alike. Even identical twins have individual likes and dislikes, interests, passions, dreams, and talents. Intellectually, I believe most of us would say that every single person on the face of the earth has something unique to offer...something no one else in the world can exactly match.

Yet when it comes to leveraging our innate "specialness" to follow our dreams, I've noticed many of us start to trivialize the unique value we bring to the table. If we even recognize it at all. We might look at ourselves and see mostly our faults and weaknesses. After all, that is too frequently the feedback we've gotten from others since childhood (not to mention from our "inner critics"). Or we may see our strengths but doubt that they could ever really be useful to anyone else.

Another example of trivializing is how a friend of mine summed up a unique talent of hers with "oh, lots of people can do that." True, she is not alone in being able to ask all the right questions that many people miss so she can get all the details necessary to make an informed decision. But she is the only one who combines that particular ability with all her other wonderful skills, interests, personality, and life experiences.

You may be asking yourself why it matters that you recognize and validate your value. What's the point?

Look around you for a moment. There is no end of needs... major and minor... physical, mental, and emotional... in every facet of life and among all ages and socio-economic environments. You’ll find it everywhere from your own household to the other side of the world.

When everyday people like you and I don't recognize and use all that makes us uniquely us, somewhere, sometime, one of those needs goes unmet. We miss a chance to make the world a better place. We also miss a chance to experience the deep-rooted personal sense of fulfillment that only living our truest selves out loud in the world can bring.

So take some time to validate your value and acknowledge:

• You are unique. There is no one else with the exact combination of innate talents, skills, passions, dreams, personality, quirks, and life experiences that you have.
• You are amazing. The strengths you've already identified are immensely valuable to the world around you. And I guarantee there are many aspects of your unique brilliance you aren't even aware of yet.
• You are needed. No one else can fill the exact space or meet the exact needs in the exact way you can. There's a void when you don’t step into that space.

The world is waiting for you in all your uniqueness and giftedness. So what are you waiting for? There's never been a better time than right now to follow your dreams and make a difference in the world!

1-2-3 Find My Dream

"But I don't know what my dream is," my friend sighed. She sounded frustrated. I don't think I've ever talked with someone who actually wants to live a boring, uninspiring life. In fact, most people get pretty excited when they think about what it would be like to follow their passion and purpose every day.

The problem is, it isn't that easy. Simply liking the idea of turning your dreams into reality isn't enough to make it happen. For people like my friend, they've been stuck in the life that's just happened to them for so long, they're no longer sure what their dream even is. Others like me have the opposite problem. We're chronic dreamers to the point it gets confusing. Either way, the idea of following a dream and making it real can start to feel like a fairy tale...something we'd love to do but could never really happen to us.

Although I can't wave a magic wand to make your dreams come true, here are three simple steps to help you capture your own elusive dream and turn it into something more tangible.

1. Start a "Dream Journal". Get a small notebook or even a little recorder you can take with you everywhere. Pay attention to when your heart comes alive...when you're happiest...when everything is life-in-full-color...when you feel purposeful and life is "in the flow".

What is happening in each of these moments? What is your role in the story that is unfolding? Who are the other people involved? What issues or topics are present? What skills are you using? What interests do you have that this taps into? Who and how are you being? What are you feeling? Seeing? Hearing? Smelling? Tasting?

Jot down a few notes about the experience in your Dream Journal while it's still fresh. It doesn't have to be lengthy. Single words that trigger the memory for you will work fine. For instance, you might write something like: "friend, sick, funny card, made her smile." Or: "gardening, warm sun, birds singing, smell of the earth, just me."

You might want to think back over the past too. Identify peak experiences you can remember. Maybe activities you haven't engaged in for years. Ask yourself the same questions about these experiences and a few take notes.

2. Identify the unifying themes. Once you have a nice selection of experiences you've recorded in your Dream Journal, maybe a dozen or so, it's time to take a birds-eye view of what’s there. Make it fun. Invite a couple of friends over and do some dream-mining. As people on the outside of your life, they will notice things you might otherwise miss.

You're looking for common elements that keep showing up in these moments. What type of people do you enjoy hanging out with or working with? What role do you enjoy playing? Maybe you're a leader or an organizer or a caretaker. What skills and abilities do you thrive on using? What values are showing up...those things that are "must haves" in the life of your dreams? What topics are you passionate about or issues you never tire of dealing with?

Make a list of all the unifying themes you find. It might be helpful to create separate lists or rank them by "absolute musts" and "nice but not essential".

3. Brainstorm possible dreams. Yay! Your dream is almost discovered! Why not invite those same friends back for another dream party? Or even more friends this time. Make it a big party! This time your goal is to brainstorm as many possible options as you can that incorporate all or some of the elements from the list you created in step two.

There are no wrong ideas at this point. You and your friends can toss every single practical, reasonable, expected, zany, crazy, and totally outrageous idea into the mix. Don't stop until you can't possibly dream up another option.

Once you're done brainstorming, take a look at what's there. Some of the ideas will obviously not be a fit for you. You will want to mine deeper with some of them to see what else might be there. Who knows...you might even find pure gold in the mix...some dream that is so right on target and so far beyond anything you dared to dream before!

A side note though: this isn't about finding the one perfect dream that fits the entire rest of your life. You may find that you will want to try out several of the dream ideas simultaneously. There's nothing wrong with that. Or the dream that fits this season of your life may not fit the next. That's okay too. This is about having fun, playing with options, dreaming big, and living the dream that's right for you right now.

I believe you have a dream...everyone does...no matter how deeply buried or long forgotten it may be. It's just a matter of uncovering it and then setting out on an adventure to make it a successful reality!

And It All Comes Back Around

I've been thinking and writing about forgotten dreams a lot lately (it's one of the things I help clients with through my Next Life Adventure coaching program). In the process, I noticed something interesting about my own journey. Pieces of my own dreams that I had forgotten about or shelved a long time ago are reemerging. Not necessarily in exactly the same way they looked back then, but the themes are there. Some pieces that were vague or unclear are making sense now too.

For example, I just finished reading The Hero and the Outlaw, a great book on branding and marketing. As I explored which archetype best fit my coaching business, I had an a-ha moment about the very essence of who I am in the world. Several years ago, I did quite a bit of work with my own coach around the topic of who I am, the impact I want to have in the world, etc. If you'd asked me at any point since then, I would have automatically told you I was the "explorer" archetype. Well, with this new information in hand about my business, I realized the same archetype applied to me as a person too (the "magician", if you're curious). Wow, suddenly, I'm looking at my life purpose in a whole new way! Pieces that had been vague—floating around the periphery—now fit and make perfect sense.

My coaching business itself is another example. As a serial entrepreneur and chronic idea person, I can start to feel like a bit of a flake sometimes. I started my own business as a career coach over a decade ago. I love everything about business strategy, and before too long, people in the careers industry began seeking out my advice to help them grow their businesses. Hence my venture into business coaching. Yet my own major life experiences and transitions left me wanting to contribute to my coaching clients on a deeper level than merely their career or business. Now here I am, more than 10 years later (and with no intentional design on my part), coaching clients in a way that combines it all...I help women turn their forgotten dreams into exciting, successful next life adventures. Sometimes this takes the form of a new business, sometimes a new career, and always a journey of deep transformation as they transition from one thing to another.

And the lesson of my observation? Don't discard the fragments of your dreams. They may not make sense right now, and they may not be feasible in this season of your life. But pay attention...tuck them away in your heart or your mind or a journal for future reference. I guarantee that somewhere down the road ahead of you, they will resurface in some form or another, and what seems confusing now will someday make sense.

Christmas in September

Woohoo! I just ordered some books from Amazon. Pure delight!

For me, it's as good as Christmas. I savor every moment of the experience...searching for new books that interest me, browsing through my already very extensive Wish List of books, selecting the ones I most want to read right now, moving them to my shopping cart, placing the order...and then the sweet anticipation of waiting for them to arrive in the mail. Finally, there's opening the box and deciding which one I'm going to start first. Sure, I already know what's in the box when it arrives, but for me it holds the same magic of opening Christmas presents as a kid. I simply can't wait to explore new ideas and have my own ideas sparked by what I read.

Okay, I know...I'm weird. I really love books. I can't help it; I was born that way. Now when was it they said that order would ship?

The Power of "What If"

This funny little phrase -- what if -- was brought to my attention yesterday in a conversation I was having with several other women in a forum. I say funny because it amazes me how those two little, seemingly innocuous, words can have so much power. Power for good or power for bad.

I've seen those two words launch some very big life adventures when someone used them to dare to dream. What if I really can do that? What if it is possible? What if I really can solve this problem? What if I can change this?

And I've seen them bring dreams to a crashing halt. What if everyone thinks I'm stupid for trying this? What if I trip and fall flat on my face in front of that audience? What if I make a fool of myself? What if this turns out to be a financial disaster? What if my husband or my kids hate me for making this choice? What if I fail?

Now obviously it's not the words themselves that are good or bad. It's how you choose to use them that makes all the difference in the world. One way is expanding, one is limiting. Like this...

Negative Use: You ask yourself "what if" to...feed your fears. Affirm your nay-sayers. Limit your perspective. Squash your dreams. Deny hope. Halt action. Turn a molehill problem into a mountain problem.

Positive Use: You ask yourself "what if" to...expand your horizons. Spark hope. Dream bigger. Empower action. Solve a problem. Open new possibilities.

So I"m curious...what is one "What If" question you can ask yourself today to jumpstart or reenergize your own next life adventure?

Recipe for Living Intentionally

Talking with a friend the other day, I had some final thoughts on living intentionally. It struck me that there is a “recipe” of sorts for living intentionally.

- 1 big scoop of intention/purpose/vision/aim
- 2 equal parts time and attention (or focus)
- Top with consistent, ongoing action

Start by defining your intention or aim. It is often helpful to write it out. Seeing it on paper (or the computer screen) can help to make it more real and powerful. So can sharing your intention with other people in your life who are supportive, encouraging, and can help you stick with your vision.

Next you need to give your intention adequate time and attention. Without these ingredients, your intention is no better than yet another sticky note tacked on your wall. It might be helpful to set aside time on a regular basis (whether daily, weekly, or monthly...depending on the overall timeframe for “baking” your intention) to really tap into your vision, focus on your goals, and plan actions guided by your intention.

Finally, nothing happens without the action piece. I’ve seen far too many intentions go unfulfilled from lack of action. Don’t let yours be one of these!

Okay, ‘nough said on this topic for now...

Living Intentionally

After my post last week, someone asked me what I meant by living intentionally. Hmmm...it's a good question and one I had to stop to think about. I'm still not sure I can answer clearly, but here's an attempt. Living intentionally is to live with intention. I know...duh! But it really is that simple. My favorite dictionary definition of "intention" explains it best: "an aim that guides action".

That is exactly what I was missing in the midst of my overworked scramble to hang on to my heart. My daily activities were driven by circumstances -- whatever happened to be happening at any given time, and the tyranny of the urgent -- whatever current happening appeared to carry with it the most urgent need or deadline. The end result was a flurry of activity that certainly didn't fulfill the passions God has placed in my heart. And to be honest, although each might have seemed urgent in the moment, many of the activities were fairly purposeless in the grander scheme of life too.

In order to begin living intentionally again, I first needed to identify that one specific aim that I wanted to have guiding my actions. I'm talking a big, overarching aim that covered my life in general. For me, it came down to looking a year ahead and realizing what one thing I most wanted to have different about my life by then. Once identified, that aim or "intention" has become the measuring stick by which I choose my daily activities. Whatever moves me closer to that intention passes the test. Whatever doesn't support that intention gets ditched -- or at least gets put in proper perspective.

Has living intentionally instantly fixed my life? No, of course not. But every time I notice my stress levels rising and that sense of purposelessness kicking in once again, I go back to my intention and reevaluate my activities. In a way, it really does become my compass in a world that is too often chaotic with endless competing demands on my time.

The Passing of Time

Has it really been over two months since I last wrote a blog post?? I was sure it had only been a few short weeks at most!

Yep, I've been busy all right. Unfortunately, too much of the past two months has been spent scrambling to hang on to my heart in the midst of life-draining work. Fortunately, I had an epiphany during a long backpack trip a few weeks ago that got my journey back on track again. At least much closer to on track than it was before.

And what was the epiphany? I realized I had been living "in the moment" so much that I'd forgotten to live intentionally. It was a gradual downslide or I might have caught it sooner. I was drowning under whatever came my way, tending to each latest "have to" that either I or someone else demanded of me, while I watched in frustration as the life I wanted to be living passed me by. Now being the type of person who would just as soon make the most of every moment, this was simply unacceptable!

Conclusion…I needed to start living intentionally once again. No one else was going to make it happen for me. If I wanted to get somewhere specific, it was my job to protect the time and space I needed to move in that direction. What I'd been doing actually wasn't even living in the moment (I'm still exploring what it is to truly live in the moment while still living intentionally). It was much closer to living as a victim of circumstance, which is exactly one of the things I work with my clients to NOT do! So much for practicing what I preach!

I'm happy to report that since that revealing moment on our backpack trip, I've been able to set aside Mondays to focus on nothing but my heart-level vision and take action towards it. So far, so good. I've stuck with protecting that time against any intrusions (doggedly so…just ask my family), and I've actually succeeded in making tremendous progress. Life feels like it is once again back on track; I have my heart fully back again; and even when the dreaded "have to" things take over the rest of the week, I look forward to Mondays when my vision can come alive again.

What I’ve been up to lately

No, life hasn’t been entirely “necessary evils” lately. I did manage to grab a few moments to get started on a vision I have for helping people change the world. It’s a long, long way from what I ultimately envision, but hey, at least it’s a start. Check out the new website… http://www.ARKAdventure.com and pass it along if you know anyone interested in making a difference.

Hanging onto your heart in the midst of life

Lately, I’ve been spending far too much of my days engaged in activities I don’t enjoy. Which means I am typically way too busy (seriously infringing on my value of simplicity) and my heart tends to get buried. I end up working on autopilot, my sense of passion and purpose get put on the back burner, and my head takes over when it does come to making decisions or taking action on something.

On one hand, I recognize this is a necessary season in our lives right now, and I believe someday it really will be worth the momentary pain when it pays off towards our long-term dreams. But I also recognize I am walking a very fine line of creating an environment that is dangerous to the very essence of who I am. Actually, to be really honest, I think I already crossed that line a while back.

I believe operating from that place of the heart--that place of passion and purpose--is vital to what it is to be human, and there is no question it is critical to my own well-being.

Recognizing how absolutely essential this “heart” piece is, I have to ask myself how I can hang onto my heart in the midst of life. Life that sometimes demands putting dreams on hold or being in “necessary evils” for a season. And--in light of my last post about hanging on to simplicity--how I can do this without adding more overwhelm to an already busy schedule. (Easy task, right???)

For me, it means carving out and jealously guarding time when I can slow down (simplicity) and reconnect with my sense of passion and purpose (heart). It means ignoring goals and deadlines and self-imposed expectations for the time being, and only taking action on something when I can do so with enthusiasm and full of “heart”. That’s certainly what I would coach a client to do. Now if I can just take my own advice...

Best Laid Plans

I'm one of those people who enjoys life most at a leisurely enough pace to leave room for breathing deeply of the roses or drinking in the beauty of a sunset as I contemplate life. When things get too chaotic or cluttered to partake in these simple pleasures, my whole world starts to feel unbalanced. The chaos of the move and getting settled in, combined with too many work deadlines piled up all at once, has been a bit like that in recent weeks. It's been hard enough sometimes to just enjoy life, let alone make space to actually create on this blank canvas of our fresh start here.

So imagine my joy when I finally got a breather last week. The massive changes of our new life have slowed down, I put all work deadlines behind me, and I took a couple days to renew and catch up in my internal world. I had time to relish simply being. I was even able recapture the excitement and begin working on plans once again for a new coaching project I am hoping to launch soon.

Just when everything seemed a "go"...wham! I catch the cold the boys brought home from their friends. I figure a couple days of sore throat and sniffles...no big deal, right? Well, the better part of a week later, it still won't let go. It hurts to breathe. I can't talk for long without it setting off another fit of coughing. And now I have more work piling up and never did get around to making those connections that would have set the coaching project in motion. It doesn't seem fair!

That's just life though, isn't it! We can plan carefully and make the most of what we have. But those things still creep up beyond our control that upset all our best laid plans. I can rail against the injustice of it all, but it won't change the fact that I caught the cold and it still isn't gone. I can't change the fact that there are always more activities waiting to fill my schedule and more deadlines looming ahead. Nor can I change the values and personal characteristics about me that mean life is best lived at a relaxed enough pace to really savor every morsel.

So as I face a new week wondering when I'll feel 100% again and when I'll have the luxury of another week free from that obligatory "to-do" list, I realize I must shift my focus away from regretting what I wanted the week to be. Instead, I find myself asking what safeguards I can put in place even in the busiest of times to protect that simplicity of life I crave. And how can I restructure the way I'm doing life right now to make sure those things like the coaching project don't wind up completely neglected in the midst of the tyranny of deadlines or a cold that won't let go.

Moving Adventures

My husband Mike mentioned in our last newsletter (http://www.outsideedgecoaching.com/) that I would soon be sharing my perspective of our recent home-buying and moving adventures, so I guess it’s about time I did so. As I review the past few months, a couple of major themes come up for me.

A journey of faith.

Our adventure started more than three months ago when I stumbled across this great-sounding property on the Internet. We did our homework, pre-qualified for a loan, and made an offer on our dream in the mountains. What at first appeared to be a slam-dunk move that we felt strongly was God-led turned into a never-ending saga of disappointments. We watched helplessly as the deal collapsed time after time for a variety of reasons beyond our control. Bottom-line, lenders simply weren’t going to touch this property. After more than a month and a half, we finally walked away...surrendering the dream completely.

I can’t say I really doubted God in the midst of it. I honestly felt we were following Him free of agendas and ready to go where He led. It did feel confusing to see this one deal die when we’d been so sure it was of Him. Yet deep down, I did believe He was still journeying with us, wherever the path might lead.

And where has it led? Another month and a half, an offer on another home, a miraculous surprise turn of events on the original property, and a grueling cross-country move later...we have been on a wild ride of continuing adventures in our new home—the original dream—for three weeks now. I can’t wait to see what lies ahead on this path of journeying with Christ through all the mountains and valleys of life.

A blank canvas.

This is a really exciting theme for me. I feel like every aspect of this move is a blank canvas just waiting for us to paint a beautifully, honestly real picture of our life on. I believe a big part of being human and children of the King is the freedom to choose and create. Pretty much every time I’ve moved up until this point, it’s been into someone else’s existing life...friends, routines, jobs, circumstances, etc. Which hasn’t been all bad by any means. One of the existing friendships Mike had when I moved to Illinois before we got married has become one of my most treasured friendships.

Nonetheless (after due appreciation for all the gifts I’ve found with making moves like those of the past), it is a real treat to be able to create something brand new with Mike. Aside from the unknowns of journeying in faith, this has been a move by design for us. A move into more of the life we feel passionately God has called us to with the coaching, with wilderness trips, with a place to minister to others through retreats or just opening our home up. It is an opportunity for us both to actively create our future together. It is a chance to make new friends...both as a couple and as individuals. It is a chance to explore our new home area and celebrate the adventure of all that we find here.

In addition to the joy of us building together, this has been a special part of my personal journey. It’s symbolic of the path God has been leading me on over the past several years to discover who I am and how I want to be in the world. I’ve learned a lot about how to live unedited and out loud even in the midst of the expectations or criticisms of others. And now I’m excited by the opportunity to continue that growth process away from those expectations and free from the old patterns of doing life.

Radical Idea for Changing the World

Okay, so here’s a radical world-changing theory for you. If we are really serious about making a difference in the world around us, we’ve got to get past worrying about getting and start freely and unconditionally giving.

That may not sound so radical on the surface. Of course we know we should help those less fortunate than ourselves, tithe if we’re a part of a church group, give if we want to receive in networking situations, and the list goes on. All of these are commonly accepted and acceptable concepts.

But what I’m talking about is a foundational shift in thinking. How much time do you spend thinking about or acting on ways to get your needs met? If you’re like most people (me included!), I’m going to guess this kind of thought machinations take up a significant portion of your waking hours and probably some of your subconscious sleep time too.

We worry about making enough money, getting that latest must-have item on our list, paying the bills, whether we’re getting cheated by someone else, making sure we get what’s due us. Then if we’re lucky enough to get all our needs met and have something left over and feel so inclined, we pass along our spare change to some worthy cause.

What if we were to take every last minute of that “getting”-focused time and completely transform it to a giving focus? What if we could genuinely quit worrying about what we need and want, and instead focus on taking what we have and putting it to good use in the world around us?

I bet several things would happen. There would be a lot less fighting and war in the world as our hearts would be literally broken by the genuine needs around us. Our needs would likely be met without us worrying about them. We’d find out we were a lot richer in the things that really matter. We’d be happier and less worried in our day-to-day lives. And the world truly would be slowly changed.

Now that’s a radical thought… one I’m not sure I’m ready to actually put into practice either!

It's the Journey, Not the Destination

We humans tend to think in terms of the end result, our final destination, the finished product, the polished presentation. We don’t look at a half-finished painting and exclaim, “My, how beautiful!” We wait for the flower to bloom and never stop to admire the delicate, unfurling leaves. We give awards to the people who can finish first. Every parent’s heard, “Are we there yet?” at least a thousand times. We get frustrated with an unfinished project. We berate ourselves or others for uncorrected character flaws or bad habits we still haven’t managed to break.

In fact, the state of something being unfinished seems to cause us a fair amount of angst as a whole. We prize the completed. We either criticize or pass over the uncompleted. Yet is this really the way it should be? What does all this impatience, frustration, and hurry really gain us? What are we missing by our limited vision? Probably nothing when you really think about it. Truth be told, I’m not sure God would agree with our approach either.

Think about the story of creation for a moment. God didn’t just “shazaam” and poof it into existence in a single instant. He crafted it in stages, each more exquisite and complex than the last, to the final crowning glory… man and woman in His own image. Each word He spoke was another brush stroke in the breathtaking masterpiece of a master painter. You won’t see Him getting impatient. “Can we get to the mammals already? These dumb fish took way too long to make!” Quite the opposite, in fact. Take a closer look, “And God saw that it was good.” Not just once when the world was finally completed, but at each step of the journey. He celebrated the beauty of each and every unfinished moment.

Still not convinced? Skip ahead in history to the accounts of Jesus and His time of ministry on earth. You’ll read story after story of Him hanging out with regular people, just like you and me. He doesn’t seem to be trying to get them all fixed overnight either. “Yo, Peter, this temper problem has got to go! Seriously, man, I’ve been talking to you about your little problem for a year already. Why don’t you go work on it for a while? Then come back when you think you’ve got it licked, and we’ll see if we still have a spot for you on my team.”

Thankfully, that’s not the Jesus I know and love!! Instead, you’ll find Him enjoying everyday relationships with these imperfect people. Just as they were, a work in progress. The Bible doesn’t give us many details, but I imagine Him celebrating these people and their individual journeys just like His Father celebrated creation. He probably laughed with Peter over his impulsiveness or listened with compassion at the fallout from yet another instance where he lost his temper, and at the same time, exhorting him in love to try and try again.

So why are we so hard on ourselves and other people? Why can’t we enjoy the journey, instead of pouring all our focus into the destination?

Right now, I’d like to challenge you to think of one unfinished thing in your life. It might be another person you’re frustrated with. Maybe you’ve been waiting for something big or exciting to happen. Or it might be a project at work. It could even be something in yourself that drives you crazy and you’ve been working to change for a while. Whatever it is, stop whatever you are doing right now and hold that thing before you for a moment. Forget the frustration or hurry. Forget that it’s not yet the way you want it to ultimately be. Look for the beauty in the unfinished. Ask God to show you His view of this thing. How can you find enjoyment in what is, instead of obsessing about what isn’t? What is one thing you can do to celebrate the journey with this “thing” just as it is in this moment?

Am I My Sister's Keeper?

It’s easy to engage life with a hands-off distance. “It’s her business if she wants to do that.” “Well, it was her choice. Now it’s her consequences.” “I’ll just worry about my own life.” “It’s not my problem. That’s her job.”

And from a logical perspective, I can’t honestly disagree with that attitude. We aren’t supposed to be meddlers and busy-bodies. There is wisdom in taking personal responsibility for our own choices and letting others do the same. Nor do we have the time, energy, or resources to get involved with everything around us.

Yet as I look around me at the shambles the world is in...deep poverty, starvation, abuse, broken relationships, people and nature ravaged by war and neglect...I wonder if somehow we’ve missed the point of that conversation between God and Cain when that age-old question was first asked, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

What if the answer to that question really was “yes”? What if the question itself is nothing more than an excuse to keep from getting our hands dirty? What if we’ve turned personal responsibility into a reason not to care? What if minding our own business has become a way to avoid being all that God has called us to be? What if everyone everywhere really is our brother and sister as fellow children of the King? And what if we really are to be our brother’s and sister’s keeper?

Now I’m not talking about selling all you own and giving it to the poor. I’m not talking about turning this into chasing after every flashy or heart-rending cause someone waves in front of you. I’m not talking about the good ole Christian judgment and condemnation cloaked under “accountability” and “tough love”. Nor am I talking about forcing choices on someone else because we’ve decided that is the right path for that other person.

I’m simply talking about being wholly who and how God created you to be as you live fully in each moment. I’m talking about acknowledging the inherent value in each and every person who God has created. And I’m talking about recognizing that everything we do really does impact someone else. Maybe many other people. We truly are all connected in that sense, and that fact bears with it a certain responsibility.

Think for a moment about nature. There are natural, organic lifecycles for each organism. Sun and rain, winter and summer, life and death. From the grandest tree in the forest to the tiniest microbe in the soil, they all work together, each impacting everything around it. What if the tree decided not to be a tree anymore? “Oh, all those little animals can just go find another home.” “Why should I provide shade for these other plants? Let them make their own shade.” “I happen to like my leaves. I don’t think I’ll let them fall to the ground to enrich the soil this year.”

You’re probably laughing by now. Of course a tree can’t decide anything, let alone to stop being what it simply is! We humans are unique in that we can choose to live in a way other than God created us to be. We can choose to use the talents and personality He gave us or not. We can distance ourselves from life around us or engage. We have choice.

Knowing you have choice and knowing that every choice you make impacts someone else in some way or another, what will you choose today? What gift are you to the world simply in being yourself? What are your skills and talents and unique experiences? What passions, dreams, and hopes has God placed in your heart? What people are in your life, whether long term or crossing your path for a moment? What opportunities are before you right now?

Stop thinking this has to be something big by society’s measuring stick. I truly believe that a smile, a hug, a kind word, or a listening ear can make a difference. The tiniest ripples join with other ripples to make waves that change the world. Like it or not, you really do belong in this great big, wonderful, hodge-podge mess that is God’s family. You really do matter. And you really are a gift to the world. So be your part in making it a better place for everyone, especially for the sister or brother beside you right now.