The Power of "What If"

This funny little phrase -- what if -- was brought to my attention yesterday in a conversation I was having with several other women in a forum. I say funny because it amazes me how those two little, seemingly innocuous, words can have so much power. Power for good or power for bad.

I've seen those two words launch some very big life adventures when someone used them to dare to dream. What if I really can do that? What if it is possible? What if I really can solve this problem? What if I can change this?

And I've seen them bring dreams to a crashing halt. What if everyone thinks I'm stupid for trying this? What if I trip and fall flat on my face in front of that audience? What if I make a fool of myself? What if this turns out to be a financial disaster? What if my husband or my kids hate me for making this choice? What if I fail?

Now obviously it's not the words themselves that are good or bad. It's how you choose to use them that makes all the difference in the world. One way is expanding, one is limiting. Like this...

Negative Use: You ask yourself "what if" to...feed your fears. Affirm your nay-sayers. Limit your perspective. Squash your dreams. Deny hope. Halt action. Turn a molehill problem into a mountain problem.

Positive Use: You ask yourself "what if" to...expand your horizons. Spark hope. Dream bigger. Empower action. Solve a problem. Open new possibilities.

So I"m curious...what is one "What If" question you can ask yourself today to jumpstart or reenergize your own next life adventure?

Recipe for Living Intentionally

Talking with a friend the other day, I had some final thoughts on living intentionally. It struck me that there is a “recipe” of sorts for living intentionally.

- 1 big scoop of intention/purpose/vision/aim
- 2 equal parts time and attention (or focus)
- Top with consistent, ongoing action

Start by defining your intention or aim. It is often helpful to write it out. Seeing it on paper (or the computer screen) can help to make it more real and powerful. So can sharing your intention with other people in your life who are supportive, encouraging, and can help you stick with your vision.

Next you need to give your intention adequate time and attention. Without these ingredients, your intention is no better than yet another sticky note tacked on your wall. It might be helpful to set aside time on a regular basis (whether daily, weekly, or monthly...depending on the overall timeframe for “baking” your intention) to really tap into your vision, focus on your goals, and plan actions guided by your intention.

Finally, nothing happens without the action piece. I’ve seen far too many intentions go unfulfilled from lack of action. Don’t let yours be one of these!

Okay, ‘nough said on this topic for now...

Living Intentionally

After my post last week, someone asked me what I meant by living intentionally. Hmmm...it's a good question and one I had to stop to think about. I'm still not sure I can answer clearly, but here's an attempt. Living intentionally is to live with intention. I know...duh! But it really is that simple. My favorite dictionary definition of "intention" explains it best: "an aim that guides action".

That is exactly what I was missing in the midst of my overworked scramble to hang on to my heart. My daily activities were driven by circumstances -- whatever happened to be happening at any given time, and the tyranny of the urgent -- whatever current happening appeared to carry with it the most urgent need or deadline. The end result was a flurry of activity that certainly didn't fulfill the passions God has placed in my heart. And to be honest, although each might have seemed urgent in the moment, many of the activities were fairly purposeless in the grander scheme of life too.

In order to begin living intentionally again, I first needed to identify that one specific aim that I wanted to have guiding my actions. I'm talking a big, overarching aim that covered my life in general. For me, it came down to looking a year ahead and realizing what one thing I most wanted to have different about my life by then. Once identified, that aim or "intention" has become the measuring stick by which I choose my daily activities. Whatever moves me closer to that intention passes the test. Whatever doesn't support that intention gets ditched -- or at least gets put in proper perspective.

Has living intentionally instantly fixed my life? No, of course not. But every time I notice my stress levels rising and that sense of purposelessness kicking in once again, I go back to my intention and reevaluate my activities. In a way, it really does become my compass in a world that is too often chaotic with endless competing demands on my time.

The Passing of Time

Has it really been over two months since I last wrote a blog post?? I was sure it had only been a few short weeks at most!

Yep, I've been busy all right. Unfortunately, too much of the past two months has been spent scrambling to hang on to my heart in the midst of life-draining work. Fortunately, I had an epiphany during a long backpack trip a few weeks ago that got my journey back on track again. At least much closer to on track than it was before.

And what was the epiphany? I realized I had been living "in the moment" so much that I'd forgotten to live intentionally. It was a gradual downslide or I might have caught it sooner. I was drowning under whatever came my way, tending to each latest "have to" that either I or someone else demanded of me, while I watched in frustration as the life I wanted to be living passed me by. Now being the type of person who would just as soon make the most of every moment, this was simply unacceptable!

Conclusion…I needed to start living intentionally once again. No one else was going to make it happen for me. If I wanted to get somewhere specific, it was my job to protect the time and space I needed to move in that direction. What I'd been doing actually wasn't even living in the moment (I'm still exploring what it is to truly live in the moment while still living intentionally). It was much closer to living as a victim of circumstance, which is exactly one of the things I work with my clients to NOT do! So much for practicing what I preach!

I'm happy to report that since that revealing moment on our backpack trip, I've been able to set aside Mondays to focus on nothing but my heart-level vision and take action towards it. So far, so good. I've stuck with protecting that time against any intrusions (doggedly so…just ask my family), and I've actually succeeded in making tremendous progress. Life feels like it is once again back on track; I have my heart fully back again; and even when the dreaded "have to" things take over the rest of the week, I look forward to Mondays when my vision can come alive again.

What I’ve been up to lately

No, life hasn’t been entirely “necessary evils” lately. I did manage to grab a few moments to get started on a vision I have for helping people change the world. It’s a long, long way from what I ultimately envision, but hey, at least it’s a start. Check out the new website… http://www.ARKAdventure.com and pass it along if you know anyone interested in making a difference.

Hanging onto your heart in the midst of life

Lately, I’ve been spending far too much of my days engaged in activities I don’t enjoy. Which means I am typically way too busy (seriously infringing on my value of simplicity) and my heart tends to get buried. I end up working on autopilot, my sense of passion and purpose get put on the back burner, and my head takes over when it does come to making decisions or taking action on something.

On one hand, I recognize this is a necessary season in our lives right now, and I believe someday it really will be worth the momentary pain when it pays off towards our long-term dreams. But I also recognize I am walking a very fine line of creating an environment that is dangerous to the very essence of who I am. Actually, to be really honest, I think I already crossed that line a while back.

I believe operating from that place of the heart--that place of passion and purpose--is vital to what it is to be human, and there is no question it is critical to my own well-being.

Recognizing how absolutely essential this “heart” piece is, I have to ask myself how I can hang onto my heart in the midst of life. Life that sometimes demands putting dreams on hold or being in “necessary evils” for a season. And--in light of my last post about hanging on to simplicity--how I can do this without adding more overwhelm to an already busy schedule. (Easy task, right???)

For me, it means carving out and jealously guarding time when I can slow down (simplicity) and reconnect with my sense of passion and purpose (heart). It means ignoring goals and deadlines and self-imposed expectations for the time being, and only taking action on something when I can do so with enthusiasm and full of “heart”. That’s certainly what I would coach a client to do. Now if I can just take my own advice...

Best Laid Plans

I'm one of those people who enjoys life most at a leisurely enough pace to leave room for breathing deeply of the roses or drinking in the beauty of a sunset as I contemplate life. When things get too chaotic or cluttered to partake in these simple pleasures, my whole world starts to feel unbalanced. The chaos of the move and getting settled in, combined with too many work deadlines piled up all at once, has been a bit like that in recent weeks. It's been hard enough sometimes to just enjoy life, let alone make space to actually create on this blank canvas of our fresh start here.

So imagine my joy when I finally got a breather last week. The massive changes of our new life have slowed down, I put all work deadlines behind me, and I took a couple days to renew and catch up in my internal world. I had time to relish simply being. I was even able recapture the excitement and begin working on plans once again for a new coaching project I am hoping to launch soon.

Just when everything seemed a "go"...wham! I catch the cold the boys brought home from their friends. I figure a couple days of sore throat and sniffles...no big deal, right? Well, the better part of a week later, it still won't let go. It hurts to breathe. I can't talk for long without it setting off another fit of coughing. And now I have more work piling up and never did get around to making those connections that would have set the coaching project in motion. It doesn't seem fair!

That's just life though, isn't it! We can plan carefully and make the most of what we have. But those things still creep up beyond our control that upset all our best laid plans. I can rail against the injustice of it all, but it won't change the fact that I caught the cold and it still isn't gone. I can't change the fact that there are always more activities waiting to fill my schedule and more deadlines looming ahead. Nor can I change the values and personal characteristics about me that mean life is best lived at a relaxed enough pace to really savor every morsel.

So as I face a new week wondering when I'll feel 100% again and when I'll have the luxury of another week free from that obligatory "to-do" list, I realize I must shift my focus away from regretting what I wanted the week to be. Instead, I find myself asking what safeguards I can put in place even in the busiest of times to protect that simplicity of life I crave. And how can I restructure the way I'm doing life right now to make sure those things like the coaching project don't wind up completely neglected in the midst of the tyranny of deadlines or a cold that won't let go.