The Power of "What If"

This funny little phrase -- what if -- was brought to my attention yesterday in a conversation I was having with several other women in a forum. I say funny because it amazes me how those two little, seemingly innocuous, words can have so much power. Power for good or power for bad.

I've seen those two words launch some very big life adventures when someone used them to dare to dream. What if I really can do that? What if it is possible? What if I really can solve this problem? What if I can change this?

And I've seen them bring dreams to a crashing halt. What if everyone thinks I'm stupid for trying this? What if I trip and fall flat on my face in front of that audience? What if I make a fool of myself? What if this turns out to be a financial disaster? What if my husband or my kids hate me for making this choice? What if I fail?

Now obviously it's not the words themselves that are good or bad. It's how you choose to use them that makes all the difference in the world. One way is expanding, one is limiting. Like this...

Negative Use: You ask yourself "what if" to...feed your fears. Affirm your nay-sayers. Limit your perspective. Squash your dreams. Deny hope. Halt action. Turn a molehill problem into a mountain problem.

Positive Use: You ask yourself "what if" to...expand your horizons. Spark hope. Dream bigger. Empower action. Solve a problem. Open new possibilities.

So I"m curious...what is one "What If" question you can ask yourself today to jumpstart or reenergize your own next life adventure?

Recipe for Living Intentionally

Talking with a friend the other day, I had some final thoughts on living intentionally. It struck me that there is a “recipe” of sorts for living intentionally.

- 1 big scoop of intention/purpose/vision/aim
- 2 equal parts time and attention (or focus)
- Top with consistent, ongoing action

Start by defining your intention or aim. It is often helpful to write it out. Seeing it on paper (or the computer screen) can help to make it more real and powerful. So can sharing your intention with other people in your life who are supportive, encouraging, and can help you stick with your vision.

Next you need to give your intention adequate time and attention. Without these ingredients, your intention is no better than yet another sticky note tacked on your wall. It might be helpful to set aside time on a regular basis (whether daily, weekly, or monthly...depending on the overall timeframe for “baking” your intention) to really tap into your vision, focus on your goals, and plan actions guided by your intention.

Finally, nothing happens without the action piece. I’ve seen far too many intentions go unfulfilled from lack of action. Don’t let yours be one of these!

Okay, ‘nough said on this topic for now...

Living Intentionally

After my post last week, someone asked me what I meant by living intentionally. Hmmm...it's a good question and one I had to stop to think about. I'm still not sure I can answer clearly, but here's an attempt. Living intentionally is to live with intention. I know...duh! But it really is that simple. My favorite dictionary definition of "intention" explains it best: "an aim that guides action".

That is exactly what I was missing in the midst of my overworked scramble to hang on to my heart. My daily activities were driven by circumstances -- whatever happened to be happening at any given time, and the tyranny of the urgent -- whatever current happening appeared to carry with it the most urgent need or deadline. The end result was a flurry of activity that certainly didn't fulfill the passions God has placed in my heart. And to be honest, although each might have seemed urgent in the moment, many of the activities were fairly purposeless in the grander scheme of life too.

In order to begin living intentionally again, I first needed to identify that one specific aim that I wanted to have guiding my actions. I'm talking a big, overarching aim that covered my life in general. For me, it came down to looking a year ahead and realizing what one thing I most wanted to have different about my life by then. Once identified, that aim or "intention" has become the measuring stick by which I choose my daily activities. Whatever moves me closer to that intention passes the test. Whatever doesn't support that intention gets ditched -- or at least gets put in proper perspective.

Has living intentionally instantly fixed my life? No, of course not. But every time I notice my stress levels rising and that sense of purposelessness kicking in once again, I go back to my intention and reevaluate my activities. In a way, it really does become my compass in a world that is too often chaotic with endless competing demands on my time.

The Passing of Time

Has it really been over two months since I last wrote a blog post?? I was sure it had only been a few short weeks at most!

Yep, I've been busy all right. Unfortunately, too much of the past two months has been spent scrambling to hang on to my heart in the midst of life-draining work. Fortunately, I had an epiphany during a long backpack trip a few weeks ago that got my journey back on track again. At least much closer to on track than it was before.

And what was the epiphany? I realized I had been living "in the moment" so much that I'd forgotten to live intentionally. It was a gradual downslide or I might have caught it sooner. I was drowning under whatever came my way, tending to each latest "have to" that either I or someone else demanded of me, while I watched in frustration as the life I wanted to be living passed me by. Now being the type of person who would just as soon make the most of every moment, this was simply unacceptable!

Conclusion…I needed to start living intentionally once again. No one else was going to make it happen for me. If I wanted to get somewhere specific, it was my job to protect the time and space I needed to move in that direction. What I'd been doing actually wasn't even living in the moment (I'm still exploring what it is to truly live in the moment while still living intentionally). It was much closer to living as a victim of circumstance, which is exactly one of the things I work with my clients to NOT do! So much for practicing what I preach!

I'm happy to report that since that revealing moment on our backpack trip, I've been able to set aside Mondays to focus on nothing but my heart-level vision and take action towards it. So far, so good. I've stuck with protecting that time against any intrusions (doggedly so…just ask my family), and I've actually succeeded in making tremendous progress. Life feels like it is once again back on track; I have my heart fully back again; and even when the dreaded "have to" things take over the rest of the week, I look forward to Mondays when my vision can come alive again.