1-2-3 Find My Dream

"But I don't know what my dream is," my friend sighed. She sounded frustrated. I don't think I've ever talked with someone who actually wants to live a boring, uninspiring life. In fact, most people get pretty excited when they think about what it would be like to follow their passion and purpose every day.

The problem is, it isn't that easy. Simply liking the idea of turning your dreams into reality isn't enough to make it happen. For people like my friend, they've been stuck in the life that's just happened to them for so long, they're no longer sure what their dream even is. Others like me have the opposite problem. We're chronic dreamers to the point it gets confusing. Either way, the idea of following a dream and making it real can start to feel like a fairy tale...something we'd love to do but could never really happen to us.

Although I can't wave a magic wand to make your dreams come true, here are three simple steps to help you capture your own elusive dream and turn it into something more tangible.

1. Start a "Dream Journal". Get a small notebook or even a little recorder you can take with you everywhere. Pay attention to when your heart comes alive...when you're happiest...when everything is life-in-full-color...when you feel purposeful and life is "in the flow".

What is happening in each of these moments? What is your role in the story that is unfolding? Who are the other people involved? What issues or topics are present? What skills are you using? What interests do you have that this taps into? Who and how are you being? What are you feeling? Seeing? Hearing? Smelling? Tasting?

Jot down a few notes about the experience in your Dream Journal while it's still fresh. It doesn't have to be lengthy. Single words that trigger the memory for you will work fine. For instance, you might write something like: "friend, sick, funny card, made her smile." Or: "gardening, warm sun, birds singing, smell of the earth, just me."

You might want to think back over the past too. Identify peak experiences you can remember. Maybe activities you haven't engaged in for years. Ask yourself the same questions about these experiences and a few take notes.

2. Identify the unifying themes. Once you have a nice selection of experiences you've recorded in your Dream Journal, maybe a dozen or so, it's time to take a birds-eye view of what’s there. Make it fun. Invite a couple of friends over and do some dream-mining. As people on the outside of your life, they will notice things you might otherwise miss.

You're looking for common elements that keep showing up in these moments. What type of people do you enjoy hanging out with or working with? What role do you enjoy playing? Maybe you're a leader or an organizer or a caretaker. What skills and abilities do you thrive on using? What values are showing up...those things that are "must haves" in the life of your dreams? What topics are you passionate about or issues you never tire of dealing with?

Make a list of all the unifying themes you find. It might be helpful to create separate lists or rank them by "absolute musts" and "nice but not essential".

3. Brainstorm possible dreams. Yay! Your dream is almost discovered! Why not invite those same friends back for another dream party? Or even more friends this time. Make it a big party! This time your goal is to brainstorm as many possible options as you can that incorporate all or some of the elements from the list you created in step two.

There are no wrong ideas at this point. You and your friends can toss every single practical, reasonable, expected, zany, crazy, and totally outrageous idea into the mix. Don't stop until you can't possibly dream up another option.

Once you're done brainstorming, take a look at what's there. Some of the ideas will obviously not be a fit for you. You will want to mine deeper with some of them to see what else might be there. Who knows...you might even find pure gold in the mix...some dream that is so right on target and so far beyond anything you dared to dream before!

A side note though: this isn't about finding the one perfect dream that fits the entire rest of your life. You may find that you will want to try out several of the dream ideas simultaneously. There's nothing wrong with that. Or the dream that fits this season of your life may not fit the next. That's okay too. This is about having fun, playing with options, dreaming big, and living the dream that's right for you right now.

I believe you have a dream...everyone does...no matter how deeply buried or long forgotten it may be. It's just a matter of uncovering it and then setting out on an adventure to make it a successful reality!

And It All Comes Back Around

I've been thinking and writing about forgotten dreams a lot lately (it's one of the things I help clients with through my Next Life Adventure coaching program). In the process, I noticed something interesting about my own journey. Pieces of my own dreams that I had forgotten about or shelved a long time ago are reemerging. Not necessarily in exactly the same way they looked back then, but the themes are there. Some pieces that were vague or unclear are making sense now too.

For example, I just finished reading The Hero and the Outlaw, a great book on branding and marketing. As I explored which archetype best fit my coaching business, I had an a-ha moment about the very essence of who I am in the world. Several years ago, I did quite a bit of work with my own coach around the topic of who I am, the impact I want to have in the world, etc. If you'd asked me at any point since then, I would have automatically told you I was the "explorer" archetype. Well, with this new information in hand about my business, I realized the same archetype applied to me as a person too (the "magician", if you're curious). Wow, suddenly, I'm looking at my life purpose in a whole new way! Pieces that had been vague—floating around the periphery—now fit and make perfect sense.

My coaching business itself is another example. As a serial entrepreneur and chronic idea person, I can start to feel like a bit of a flake sometimes. I started my own business as a career coach over a decade ago. I love everything about business strategy, and before too long, people in the careers industry began seeking out my advice to help them grow their businesses. Hence my venture into business coaching. Yet my own major life experiences and transitions left me wanting to contribute to my coaching clients on a deeper level than merely their career or business. Now here I am, more than 10 years later (and with no intentional design on my part), coaching clients in a way that combines it all...I help women turn their forgotten dreams into exciting, successful next life adventures. Sometimes this takes the form of a new business, sometimes a new career, and always a journey of deep transformation as they transition from one thing to another.

And the lesson of my observation? Don't discard the fragments of your dreams. They may not make sense right now, and they may not be feasible in this season of your life. But pay attention...tuck them away in your heart or your mind or a journal for future reference. I guarantee that somewhere down the road ahead of you, they will resurface in some form or another, and what seems confusing now will someday make sense.

Christmas in September

Woohoo! I just ordered some books from Amazon. Pure delight!

For me, it's as good as Christmas. I savor every moment of the experience...searching for new books that interest me, browsing through my already very extensive Wish List of books, selecting the ones I most want to read right now, moving them to my shopping cart, placing the order...and then the sweet anticipation of waiting for them to arrive in the mail. Finally, there's opening the box and deciding which one I'm going to start first. Sure, I already know what's in the box when it arrives, but for me it holds the same magic of opening Christmas presents as a kid. I simply can't wait to explore new ideas and have my own ideas sparked by what I read.

Okay, I know...I'm weird. I really love books. I can't help it; I was born that way. Now when was it they said that order would ship?