What I’ve been up to lately

No, life hasn’t been entirely “necessary evils” lately. I did manage to grab a few moments to get started on a vision I have for helping people change the world. It’s a long, long way from what I ultimately envision, but hey, at least it’s a start. Check out the new website… http://www.ARKAdventure.com and pass it along if you know anyone interested in making a difference.

Hanging onto your heart in the midst of life

Lately, I’ve been spending far too much of my days engaged in activities I don’t enjoy. Which means I am typically way too busy (seriously infringing on my value of simplicity) and my heart tends to get buried. I end up working on autopilot, my sense of passion and purpose get put on the back burner, and my head takes over when it does come to making decisions or taking action on something.

On one hand, I recognize this is a necessary season in our lives right now, and I believe someday it really will be worth the momentary pain when it pays off towards our long-term dreams. But I also recognize I am walking a very fine line of creating an environment that is dangerous to the very essence of who I am. Actually, to be really honest, I think I already crossed that line a while back.

I believe operating from that place of the heart--that place of passion and purpose--is vital to what it is to be human, and there is no question it is critical to my own well-being.

Recognizing how absolutely essential this “heart” piece is, I have to ask myself how I can hang onto my heart in the midst of life. Life that sometimes demands putting dreams on hold or being in “necessary evils” for a season. And--in light of my last post about hanging on to simplicity--how I can do this without adding more overwhelm to an already busy schedule. (Easy task, right???)

For me, it means carving out and jealously guarding time when I can slow down (simplicity) and reconnect with my sense of passion and purpose (heart). It means ignoring goals and deadlines and self-imposed expectations for the time being, and only taking action on something when I can do so with enthusiasm and full of “heart”. That’s certainly what I would coach a client to do. Now if I can just take my own advice...

Best Laid Plans

I'm one of those people who enjoys life most at a leisurely enough pace to leave room for breathing deeply of the roses or drinking in the beauty of a sunset as I contemplate life. When things get too chaotic or cluttered to partake in these simple pleasures, my whole world starts to feel unbalanced. The chaos of the move and getting settled in, combined with too many work deadlines piled up all at once, has been a bit like that in recent weeks. It's been hard enough sometimes to just enjoy life, let alone make space to actually create on this blank canvas of our fresh start here.

So imagine my joy when I finally got a breather last week. The massive changes of our new life have slowed down, I put all work deadlines behind me, and I took a couple days to renew and catch up in my internal world. I had time to relish simply being. I was even able recapture the excitement and begin working on plans once again for a new coaching project I am hoping to launch soon.

Just when everything seemed a "go"...wham! I catch the cold the boys brought home from their friends. I figure a couple days of sore throat and sniffles...no big deal, right? Well, the better part of a week later, it still won't let go. It hurts to breathe. I can't talk for long without it setting off another fit of coughing. And now I have more work piling up and never did get around to making those connections that would have set the coaching project in motion. It doesn't seem fair!

That's just life though, isn't it! We can plan carefully and make the most of what we have. But those things still creep up beyond our control that upset all our best laid plans. I can rail against the injustice of it all, but it won't change the fact that I caught the cold and it still isn't gone. I can't change the fact that there are always more activities waiting to fill my schedule and more deadlines looming ahead. Nor can I change the values and personal characteristics about me that mean life is best lived at a relaxed enough pace to really savor every morsel.

So as I face a new week wondering when I'll feel 100% again and when I'll have the luxury of another week free from that obligatory "to-do" list, I realize I must shift my focus away from regretting what I wanted the week to be. Instead, I find myself asking what safeguards I can put in place even in the busiest of times to protect that simplicity of life I crave. And how can I restructure the way I'm doing life right now to make sure those things like the coaching project don't wind up completely neglected in the midst of the tyranny of deadlines or a cold that won't let go.

Moving Adventures

My husband Mike mentioned in our last newsletter (http://www.outsideedgecoaching.com/) that I would soon be sharing my perspective of our recent home-buying and moving adventures, so I guess it’s about time I did so. As I review the past few months, a couple of major themes come up for me.

A journey of faith.

Our adventure started more than three months ago when I stumbled across this great-sounding property on the Internet. We did our homework, pre-qualified for a loan, and made an offer on our dream in the mountains. What at first appeared to be a slam-dunk move that we felt strongly was God-led turned into a never-ending saga of disappointments. We watched helplessly as the deal collapsed time after time for a variety of reasons beyond our control. Bottom-line, lenders simply weren’t going to touch this property. After more than a month and a half, we finally walked away...surrendering the dream completely.

I can’t say I really doubted God in the midst of it. I honestly felt we were following Him free of agendas and ready to go where He led. It did feel confusing to see this one deal die when we’d been so sure it was of Him. Yet deep down, I did believe He was still journeying with us, wherever the path might lead.

And where has it led? Another month and a half, an offer on another home, a miraculous surprise turn of events on the original property, and a grueling cross-country move later...we have been on a wild ride of continuing adventures in our new home—the original dream—for three weeks now. I can’t wait to see what lies ahead on this path of journeying with Christ through all the mountains and valleys of life.

A blank canvas.

This is a really exciting theme for me. I feel like every aspect of this move is a blank canvas just waiting for us to paint a beautifully, honestly real picture of our life on. I believe a big part of being human and children of the King is the freedom to choose and create. Pretty much every time I’ve moved up until this point, it’s been into someone else’s existing life...friends, routines, jobs, circumstances, etc. Which hasn’t been all bad by any means. One of the existing friendships Mike had when I moved to Illinois before we got married has become one of my most treasured friendships.

Nonetheless (after due appreciation for all the gifts I’ve found with making moves like those of the past), it is a real treat to be able to create something brand new with Mike. Aside from the unknowns of journeying in faith, this has been a move by design for us. A move into more of the life we feel passionately God has called us to with the coaching, with wilderness trips, with a place to minister to others through retreats or just opening our home up. It is an opportunity for us both to actively create our future together. It is a chance to make new friends...both as a couple and as individuals. It is a chance to explore our new home area and celebrate the adventure of all that we find here.

In addition to the joy of us building together, this has been a special part of my personal journey. It’s symbolic of the path God has been leading me on over the past several years to discover who I am and how I want to be in the world. I’ve learned a lot about how to live unedited and out loud even in the midst of the expectations or criticisms of others. And now I’m excited by the opportunity to continue that growth process away from those expectations and free from the old patterns of doing life.

Radical Idea for Changing the World

Okay, so here’s a radical world-changing theory for you. If we are really serious about making a difference in the world around us, we’ve got to get past worrying about getting and start freely and unconditionally giving.

That may not sound so radical on the surface. Of course we know we should help those less fortunate than ourselves, tithe if we’re a part of a church group, give if we want to receive in networking situations, and the list goes on. All of these are commonly accepted and acceptable concepts.

But what I’m talking about is a foundational shift in thinking. How much time do you spend thinking about or acting on ways to get your needs met? If you’re like most people (me included!), I’m going to guess this kind of thought machinations take up a significant portion of your waking hours and probably some of your subconscious sleep time too.

We worry about making enough money, getting that latest must-have item on our list, paying the bills, whether we’re getting cheated by someone else, making sure we get what’s due us. Then if we’re lucky enough to get all our needs met and have something left over and feel so inclined, we pass along our spare change to some worthy cause.

What if we were to take every last minute of that “getting”-focused time and completely transform it to a giving focus? What if we could genuinely quit worrying about what we need and want, and instead focus on taking what we have and putting it to good use in the world around us?

I bet several things would happen. There would be a lot less fighting and war in the world as our hearts would be literally broken by the genuine needs around us. Our needs would likely be met without us worrying about them. We’d find out we were a lot richer in the things that really matter. We’d be happier and less worried in our day-to-day lives. And the world truly would be slowly changed.

Now that’s a radical thought… one I’m not sure I’m ready to actually put into practice either!

It's the Journey, Not the Destination

We humans tend to think in terms of the end result, our final destination, the finished product, the polished presentation. We don’t look at a half-finished painting and exclaim, “My, how beautiful!” We wait for the flower to bloom and never stop to admire the delicate, unfurling leaves. We give awards to the people who can finish first. Every parent’s heard, “Are we there yet?” at least a thousand times. We get frustrated with an unfinished project. We berate ourselves or others for uncorrected character flaws or bad habits we still haven’t managed to break.

In fact, the state of something being unfinished seems to cause us a fair amount of angst as a whole. We prize the completed. We either criticize or pass over the uncompleted. Yet is this really the way it should be? What does all this impatience, frustration, and hurry really gain us? What are we missing by our limited vision? Probably nothing when you really think about it. Truth be told, I’m not sure God would agree with our approach either.

Think about the story of creation for a moment. God didn’t just “shazaam” and poof it into existence in a single instant. He crafted it in stages, each more exquisite and complex than the last, to the final crowning glory… man and woman in His own image. Each word He spoke was another brush stroke in the breathtaking masterpiece of a master painter. You won’t see Him getting impatient. “Can we get to the mammals already? These dumb fish took way too long to make!” Quite the opposite, in fact. Take a closer look, “And God saw that it was good.” Not just once when the world was finally completed, but at each step of the journey. He celebrated the beauty of each and every unfinished moment.

Still not convinced? Skip ahead in history to the accounts of Jesus and His time of ministry on earth. You’ll read story after story of Him hanging out with regular people, just like you and me. He doesn’t seem to be trying to get them all fixed overnight either. “Yo, Peter, this temper problem has got to go! Seriously, man, I’ve been talking to you about your little problem for a year already. Why don’t you go work on it for a while? Then come back when you think you’ve got it licked, and we’ll see if we still have a spot for you on my team.”

Thankfully, that’s not the Jesus I know and love!! Instead, you’ll find Him enjoying everyday relationships with these imperfect people. Just as they were, a work in progress. The Bible doesn’t give us many details, but I imagine Him celebrating these people and their individual journeys just like His Father celebrated creation. He probably laughed with Peter over his impulsiveness or listened with compassion at the fallout from yet another instance where he lost his temper, and at the same time, exhorting him in love to try and try again.

So why are we so hard on ourselves and other people? Why can’t we enjoy the journey, instead of pouring all our focus into the destination?

Right now, I’d like to challenge you to think of one unfinished thing in your life. It might be another person you’re frustrated with. Maybe you’ve been waiting for something big or exciting to happen. Or it might be a project at work. It could even be something in yourself that drives you crazy and you’ve been working to change for a while. Whatever it is, stop whatever you are doing right now and hold that thing before you for a moment. Forget the frustration or hurry. Forget that it’s not yet the way you want it to ultimately be. Look for the beauty in the unfinished. Ask God to show you His view of this thing. How can you find enjoyment in what is, instead of obsessing about what isn’t? What is one thing you can do to celebrate the journey with this “thing” just as it is in this moment?

Am I My Sister's Keeper?

It’s easy to engage life with a hands-off distance. “It’s her business if she wants to do that.” “Well, it was her choice. Now it’s her consequences.” “I’ll just worry about my own life.” “It’s not my problem. That’s her job.”

And from a logical perspective, I can’t honestly disagree with that attitude. We aren’t supposed to be meddlers and busy-bodies. There is wisdom in taking personal responsibility for our own choices and letting others do the same. Nor do we have the time, energy, or resources to get involved with everything around us.

Yet as I look around me at the shambles the world is in...deep poverty, starvation, abuse, broken relationships, people and nature ravaged by war and neglect...I wonder if somehow we’ve missed the point of that conversation between God and Cain when that age-old question was first asked, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

What if the answer to that question really was “yes”? What if the question itself is nothing more than an excuse to keep from getting our hands dirty? What if we’ve turned personal responsibility into a reason not to care? What if minding our own business has become a way to avoid being all that God has called us to be? What if everyone everywhere really is our brother and sister as fellow children of the King? And what if we really are to be our brother’s and sister’s keeper?

Now I’m not talking about selling all you own and giving it to the poor. I’m not talking about turning this into chasing after every flashy or heart-rending cause someone waves in front of you. I’m not talking about the good ole Christian judgment and condemnation cloaked under “accountability” and “tough love”. Nor am I talking about forcing choices on someone else because we’ve decided that is the right path for that other person.

I’m simply talking about being wholly who and how God created you to be as you live fully in each moment. I’m talking about acknowledging the inherent value in each and every person who God has created. And I’m talking about recognizing that everything we do really does impact someone else. Maybe many other people. We truly are all connected in that sense, and that fact bears with it a certain responsibility.

Think for a moment about nature. There are natural, organic lifecycles for each organism. Sun and rain, winter and summer, life and death. From the grandest tree in the forest to the tiniest microbe in the soil, they all work together, each impacting everything around it. What if the tree decided not to be a tree anymore? “Oh, all those little animals can just go find another home.” “Why should I provide shade for these other plants? Let them make their own shade.” “I happen to like my leaves. I don’t think I’ll let them fall to the ground to enrich the soil this year.”

You’re probably laughing by now. Of course a tree can’t decide anything, let alone to stop being what it simply is! We humans are unique in that we can choose to live in a way other than God created us to be. We can choose to use the talents and personality He gave us or not. We can distance ourselves from life around us or engage. We have choice.

Knowing you have choice and knowing that every choice you make impacts someone else in some way or another, what will you choose today? What gift are you to the world simply in being yourself? What are your skills and talents and unique experiences? What passions, dreams, and hopes has God placed in your heart? What people are in your life, whether long term or crossing your path for a moment? What opportunities are before you right now?

Stop thinking this has to be something big by society’s measuring stick. I truly believe that a smile, a hug, a kind word, or a listening ear can make a difference. The tiniest ripples join with other ripples to make waves that change the world. Like it or not, you really do belong in this great big, wonderful, hodge-podge mess that is God’s family. You really do matter. And you really are a gift to the world. So be your part in making it a better place for everyone, especially for the sister or brother beside you right now.